• 110g plain flour
  • pinch of salt
  • 2 medium eggs
  • 200ml milk
  • 75ml water
  • 50g butter
  • 1 lime
  • 2 tsp sugar

Pancakes (with collateral damage)

According to Wikipedia “collateral damage is damage to things that are incidental to the intended target. It is frequently used as a military term where it can refer to the incidental destruction of civilian property and non-combatant casualties”. Bear that in mind as you read on.

We decided to go for a tried and trusted Delia Smith recipe. What could possible go wrong? Simple, add a 3 year old and a 6 year old to the process.

We suffered a certain amount of collateral damage. I’m still not sure how but Jess snapped a fairly substantial wooden spatula while “gently” mixing eggs into the flour. There were countless warfare-like arguments as to who should “go next”. We used half a bag of flour somehow, we only need 110 grams. Many eggs were used but only 2 ended up in the recipe. I’m sure you get the idea.

So if you try this recipe, I’d suggest it works best the way Delia has it, exactly as written. She never mentions having 2 small girls help you prepare it. Although I wonder if it tasted better because of it. I think that may be because of the eggshell which gave it a satisfying crunchy texture.

How we did it:

  • The original recipe won’t take long for you. If you add small people into the equation you can multiply the indicative 30 minutes or so by at least 50%-75% per small daughter (or son) involved.
  • First, Jess sifted the flour from a great height into a large bowl. The large bowl didn’t receive too much of the initial attempt. The dog did.
  • The (remaining) eggs were cracked first into a bowl and then poured into a well in the flour.
  • We mixed the milk with 75ml water and gradually stirred this into the flour and eggs. This stage was highly argumentative. I can confirm that it was stirred exactly 50% of the time by each daughter. Plus or minus a second or two which they both are still disputing 2 days later. I’ve subsequently brought in a professional negotiator and I think a resolution (possible cash settlement) is looking promising.
  • We melted the butter in the microwave and then added 2 tablespoons of this into the mixture of flour, eggs, milk and water. Also known as batter for those that are real chefs.
  • We heated a small 6 inch saucepan to a very high temperature and dropped the heat to “medium”. That’s the dial half way up as we see it.
  • We poured in about 2 tablespoons of the batter mix with a ladle. We made a “pancake”. We threw the “pancake” in the bin.
  • We enlisted the services of mummy who cooked a proper pancake (which including a quite impressive flip). She advised about a minute on the first side, 20 seconds on the second. Delia says less. But I don’t live with Delia, so I’ll suggest “mummy’s” recommendation.
  • We repeated this 10 or so times under strict supervision.

What we thought of it:

The girls had their pancakes with chocolate spread. We had ours with lime and sugar. That’s because we didn’t have any lemons. But it really works with lime very well. We then spent the rest of the day clearing up the mess. Jess still has “no idea at all” how the spatula snapped. Annie won’t divulge either. Another job for the negotiator.