- 125g butter
- 330g castor sugar
- 3 eggs
- 150g plain flour
- 150g self raising flour
- 75g bournville cocoa
- 125ml water
- 250ml milk
How to put on 7 pounds in a day: Chocolate Dessert Cake
It may take you a few days to fully digest a slice of this cake, but the great news is that you’ll see the weight rolling on immediately. I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to see your stomach expanding by several inches a day by eating such relatively small quantities of cake. It’s so efficient.
Oh hang on, I was obese already. Mistake! Jess and I will be making a light green salad next week…
How we did it:
- If you’re wearing a belt at this point, best to loosen it a little for what you may be about to consume.
- Grease a deep 20-25cm round cake pan and cover the base with baking powder.
- Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix with an electric mixer – beat on a low speed until all ingredients are combined. Just checking – have you loosened that belt?
- Then go up to a medium speed and beat the mixture until it’s smooth and pour it into the prepared pan.
- Bake on a moderate oven for about 1.25 hours (all ovens are moderate if you speak to them nicely).
- Remove and stand for 5 minutes before turning onto a rack to cool.
- Do some press-ups and go for a 5 mile run to justify your forthcoming intake of calories.
- Top with a chocolate glaze if desired.
What we thought of it:
Eat it. Then go to the sofa and sleep. If you make any noises blame it on the dog. It’s that good.